Focus

A few months ago I realized I was trying to speed up everything in my life.

I have written about life plans before. Seeing that most things are going according to plan, I couldn’t help but get anxious for the later stages, where the real benefits would start showing. Moreover, I had a probably somewhat justified worry about Covid, inflation and societal changes growing into unpredictable burdens and grave dangers to my life.

Unconsciously, I wanted to get rid of various hindrances and chores, and make time for more creative, more passionate and more relaxing work. Seeing as that wasn’t possible, I started getting more and more frustrated, and could not calmly handle neither the one nor the either.

I was able to overcome this phase with help from my girlfriend and from the Stoics, as always. However, I know that this sinister seed is still in my head. I notice it every day, when I work with the tools I know, when I study the tools I don’t yet know, when I talk to people, when I watch videos, read articles, read books, listen to music… I hate it. I can’t focus properly, I am always in a hurry.

Resolution #1

Slow down. Enjoy the small moments. Focus on the task at hand. Analyze. Strategize.

Athletics

I can’t remember when I first read or heard the quote by Socrates:

Κανένας άντρας δεν έχει δικαίωμα να παραμελεί τη φυσική του αγωγή. Είναι ντροπή και άδικο για τον ίδιο τον άντρα να γεράσει, χωρίς ποτέ να κατορθώσει να δει την ομορφιά και τη δύναμη του σώματός του

It has stuck with me. I am not fit. Luckily I am not fat, and I don’t suffer from any serious medical conditions that obstruct me from working out. All I lack is the discipline and the motivation. I have managed to keep a chill working out schedule for months at a time, but not for a whole year.

I can not NOT include working out in my resolutions, I think. It is very important for anyone’s overall health, and I want to be healthy.

Resolution #2

Exercise every day. Start small, but keep a schedule. Make the time. Force yourself.

Evolution

I will turn 30 in a few days. I have been working for about 6 years. Whenever I think back to my first days as a solo, ignorant SysAdmin, I get chills thinking how I was making a lot of things worse.

The last 4 of these 6 years have been in a corporate, structured environment, where I started as a humble Junior Middleware Administrator. When I think back to my first days in that position, I remember how shy and willing I was, trying to absorb everything anyone would show me.

I have by no means solved difficult equations, fired rockets or created technological marvels, but I feel like I have made great progress to come where I am today. Most of it is thanks to various colleagues I have met. I will always be thankful to them, and to the opportunities I have been given.

However, I find myself without a definite plan here. Do I want to keep being an Engineer? Should I face the fact(?) that I can’t keep learning more and more tools and methods for ever? Do I want to evolve my leadership and management skills and slowly pivot to some managerial position in the future?

Resolution #3 is simple.

Resolution #3

Define a long-term work plan, accept it and set goals towards achieving it.

Change

I feel like I have defined myself to a big extent. That how others view me and what I show the world has been pretty standard the last few years.

I am dangerously close to start repeating the phrase “I am who I am”. Why should I be who I am? Surely, I could to better.

I want to radically change one aspect of my mentality. I do not yet know what that is. Maybe I become more extroverted, maybe I give up stoicism. Maybe I delete my Steam account, maybe I stop watching television series I am not 100% into, and thus devote all that time to more productive and fulfilling activities.

Resolution #4

Radically change at least one aspect of my thinking or life, or one of my habits.

Appreciation

There is a lack of kind words being spoken in this world, as I see it. Kind words, spoken in a gentle manner. With truth behind them, with intention, with love and appreciation.

I would like to see this change. I want to make my love felt, to the people I love. The people I appreciate. The small or big gestures, on purpose or not. It is a chance to gift small gifts to people, make someone feel better, make them smile. Hopefully it will also spread.

Resolution #5

Be bold with showing appreciation. Do not be afraid to show and express your gratitude and love to others.

Future

I have been having this debate in my mind for more than a decade now - how can I be an actually active citizen? A citizen who cares about my state, about its future.

Doesn’t everyone have a duty to partake in any public dialogue, in any form? What would it mean if they don’t? Surely nothing good, right?

I have shaped opinions about this world we live in. Maybe not all of them are right, but I want to be corrected. I want to learn more. Learn to defend my opinions, or get better ones. I want to become active, I want to participate.

Resolution #6

Become an active citizen. Join dialogues, express and shape opinions.

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These are my Resolutions for this year.

Last year, I would say I achieved about 70% of what I set out for. Let’s hope for better in 2022 :)