Being an Introvert

This is going to be a collection of information I have gathered from my habits and my thoughts. Over the last week, I have confirmed that a lot of people share them (the ones I mention below) and they are identified as ‘introverts’.

Although I always knew the words ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’, I had never really put much thought into it. Thus, stumbling upon a subreddit dedicated to us I immediately felt the connection. So, let’s begin.

Act 1 : The Night Out

I have often found myself in this position; saying ‘yes’ to an invitation for a night out, but as the time to get ready and leave draws closer, the – ‘I won’t be happy’, ‘I won’t know what to do there’, ‘they are just going to ignore me as usual’ – thoughts become more frequent and more persuading. But, I do not believe that what drives them is so much the fear of going out and socializing as the fear of getting bored too quickly and engaging in meaningless actions, or even actions with negative effects.

We are going to need more proof for this, but the conclusion I draw from Act 1 is that introverts do not like having to engage in activities that seem void of benefit or some deep reason. Also, they generally prefer to stay at home and do something that provides more opportunities for productivity or some quiet, alone time.

Act 2 : Where Did The Awkwardness Go?

I don’t know if all introverts can relate to this, as they generally feel the exact opposite way. I am referring to the awkwardness of many situations I find myself in, quite often. The thing is, some time in the last couple of years I have lost the feeling of awkwardness. For example, the other day I took the bus to the uni and on the way there I saw one of my uni friends getting on. We greeted each other, I really tried to find something not uni related, had a small talk and then I just stood there. But instead of feeling awkward I just fell deep into my thoughts, pondering about other stuff. After five or six minutes he said something I can’t recall and it was time for small talk again, but I couldn’t help but wonder why didn’t I feel the awkwardness.

This wasn’t a one time thing, I really do that without realizing in every awkward situation. And the best part is – I don’t care! Maybe I should feel like I have to say something, keep the conversation going and be a ‘pleasant and welcoming person’, but you can’t seriously expect me to be one all the time! Don’t I get to choose when I am what I want to be?

Introverts may relate to this, as they generally hate smalltalk and similarly meaningless conversations. Also, despite my ‘ability’, I think that they do over think about awkwardness and oral social interaction. Also, they like to get lost in their thoughts and even view their actions from another perspective.

Act 3 : Living With Other People

I have found out, that living with other people is not so difficult. The big obstacle is the one of getting to know another person. Many introverts are shy and is definitely a problem you have to overcome, but if one is not shy, just introverted, then meeting new people really helps against the feeling of loneliness. Personally, I know that when I am going to meet new people (ie when going to a small party) I am going to be quiet for the first hour or so, because I feel like I learn a lot more about a person just by observing them, in a non creepy way, and seeing them interact with people I already know. This could be viewed as adding a variable to an equation of constants – you really need to see the way it is going to affect your results before you decide whether to keep it or not. Maybe this isn’t a successful comparison, but try to understand its deeper meaning.

 

Final Conclusion Overall, I am 100% sure that I am an introvert and from now on I am going to accept that instead of fighting my feelings. Here are some quotes that really sum up the essence of it all. Some are intended to be funny, instead of revealing a huge truth, so do not be offended.

”In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.” ~John Mulaney

”Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness.” ~Unknown

”If you invite me to a party please make sure to have a cat or dog present so I have someone to hang out with.” ~Unknown

”Realize you arrived too early at a meeting – sit in your car and listen to music.” ~Unknown

”Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” ~Plato

”I like being alone, but I hate being lonely.” ~Unknown

”I don’t want to be alone. I want to be left alone.” ~Audrey Hepburn

”Quiet people have the loudest minds.” ~Stephen Hawking

PS: All I ever dream about is moving to a remote hut in the mountains with my dog and the girl I love. For me, that is the meaning of being an introvert. That ‘dream’ that you have.